1TrackMind Blog

After a long hiatus, we are back! OK, I am back.

The last couple months of 2007 were basically a shit storm for me so some of my writing projects had to take a bit of a backburner, but it’s a new year and hopefully one that will be filled with sex and folly as opposed to, well, shit.

I figured I should start off the year with a positive message (excuse the not-so-positive rant above about ‘shit storms’ and such). I’m thinking something that shows what a responsible individual I really truly am in spite of what you may have heard… or read… or even witnessed. So my 1TM friends, I give you the closest thing to a public service announcement that I can manage without making either one of us gag or yawn; some Safe Sex 101 if you will!

If you read my stuff at Girlspoke, than you may have heard me bitch on several occasions about my f#ck buddy of the past year. My most recent post was about how grateful I am for condoms cuz it turns out that you just never know if the person you’re bangin’ is on the up and up—even after a long time together. This whole thing led me to the greatest condom site ever: Condom Jungle.

Condom Jungle is a no-fuss, no-muss site that offers every type of condom imaginable at great prices and without the hassle of having to deal with a snot-nosed cashier at the drugstore that will undoubtedly look at you like you’re a perv rather than drop to her knees and praise you for being a responsible adult who practices safe sex. That’s right; condoms (warming, flavored, studded, etc) delivered to your door for very little moolah! They also carry lube and lots of it! Yummy, safe and slippery sex is only a click away!

They’ve just posted an article of mine about making safe sex hotter. So for those of you that ‘go soft’ or ‘dry up’ at the mere mention of condoms; the article is especially for you. The tips are great and besides, finding out you a case of The Clap will make you shrivel a lot f#cken faster than putting on a condom ever will!!

This years resolution for myself is also my wish for you all: to make 2008 the safest and sexiest year ever!

xo

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I know that I am a few days behind on this one, but Madonna was recently seen leaving her husbands birthday party carrying a clear bag containing a strap-on dildo.

Happy birthday Guy! (In light of this recent spotting; I use the term/name “Guy” loosely)

We always knew that she wore the pants in that marriage–now we know she wears the cock too! You go girl!

The Purple Penetrator has been flying off shelves and up the asses of husbands all over the world since Madonna was seen carrying the prettiest of all strap-ons that day–a day that Guy Ritchie will surely never forget!

If it’s good enough for Madge, then it’d gotta be worth a try, right?

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Check out this funny little news clip that I found on YouTube of a live news broadcast on a local drug bust with a surprise visit by a dildo in the background.

As you’re watching; keep an eye on the entrance of the house behind the reporter. Too funny!

Enjoy

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You know the saying “every cloud has a silver lining”? Turns out it’s the truth!

Don’t ask me how, but my puppy managed to get a hold my favorite of the Jack Rabbit Vibrators while I was out the other day, and needless to say that he tortured and killed my bunny, leaving only half of the shaft in tact while some mangled pink silicone dangled from his mouth as his tail wagged contently and I sobbed inconsolably.

While online and searching Jack Rabbit Vibrators, I came across a site called HealthyandActive.com with all kinds of rabbit vibes–on sale! I was in self-pleasure heaven!! This is truly Adult Sex Toys at their finest! Hoorah for me, for them and for what they can do for my coochie!

Anyhow, I managed to stay focused on the task at hand long enough to order myself a new little… ok, big friend… and a few other necessities. My ‘Rabbit Habit’ should be arriving any day. Now all I need is a handyman (tall, muscular, BIG… biceps) to come and install a dog-proof lock on my toy box!

If you’re looking for a new Rabbit Vibrator, then Healthy and Active is the place to go, especially for those of you lookin’ for a more discreet shopping experience as the site is pretty low key and they pride themselves on discretion (unlike another store—which shall remain nameless—who sent me a toy and wrote “Personal massage apparatus/lady vibrator” on the package AND customs form!!!)

Check em’ out here for the best in Adult Sex Toys.

PS - They’ve even got sex swings! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! How very Cirque du Soleil! *wink*

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Are you sexually adventurous? Wish you could be? Boy have I got the website for you! And I am not just saying this because I happen to write for them either—Luvloop is hot!

Think Cosmo with a lot more sex and way more graphic pics. They cater to making sex better—mind blowing in fact. There are articles on just about every type of sex your deliciously naughty little mind is dreaming of, including the kind you’re too embarrassed to admit.

Some of the topics you can check out over there right now: anal sex (for beginners and beyond), group sex, scoring a threesome, surfing porn for girls, talking dirty and much more. And I don’t mean boring articles written in clinical form, using proper terminology—oh no—think blazing description and all the C-words you really understand and aren’t allowed to use anywhere but bed.

If you think you’re a superstar in bed already and don’t need any help; it’s still worth checking out for the sexy pics like the one here. (Note: Had to use the most toned-down pic from the site to avoid getting in trouble for nudity. Luvloop is full of blazing and brazen nudie pics!!)

Happy f#cking!

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Every now and again I think it’s only right to include some ‘legitimate’ current events here on 1TrackMind. Today I have chosen to report on the recent resignation of Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig.

He quit because of recent charges against him for apparently trying to solicit sex in a men’s washroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport. He says that he doesn’t feel he can “devote 100 percent of his time and effort” to his job while dealing with these charges.

According to police; Craig tried to get some manly-lovin’ from an undercover police officer in an adjoining stall; first by using his foot to touch the officer’s foot and next by waving his hand under the stall. I personally am not up to snuff on the common signals in the paying-for-some-illegal-fudge-packing circle, but according to police; this is the standard.

If that weren’t stupid enough for a public figure; once told that he was under arrest, he handed the officer his card indicating that he was a senator and asked “What do you think about that?”

I’ll tell you what I think about that: you’re an idiot.

He has since gone on to plead guilty — “only to keep the story quiet” though. Right. And has also said, “I am not gay. I never have been gay.”

Newsflash: You don’t have to be ‘gay’ in order to crave a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ up the ass — a simple stopover in Bi-Town will do.

Read the full story by clicking here

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Though this video clip is not from the site mentioned in my previous post; it is pretty funny and worth watching… for a minute anyway.

Found this little gem on YouTube. Have no idea what the cute Asian girl is saying, but watching her demonstrate a hand job on her thumb is pretty humorous! You may even learn a little something about jerking off a… well… smaller friend.

Enjoy the video!

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There is no easier way to get a guy off than with a hand job. This is a fun, quick and pretty discreet way to make a guy blow his load. I personally am all about the impromptu hand job! Nothin’ like goin’ in for it when he leasts expects it; like in the middle of a family dinner or church service.

I found a cool site called Hand Job Advice that actually features a little instrcutional video for each technique. Thought there was only one way to give an HJ?? This site will blow your mind with a list of techniques such as: Washing Machine, Milking The Bull, The Pancake and my personal fave: The Shocker.

Not only do you get to learn how to give an awesome handjob, but you get the added enjoyment of watching a hot girl jerk off a dildo! Cool.

They don’t let you share the video, so I wasn’t able to include a clip here. Check out HandJobAdvice.com right here

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From grand hotel to 80’s punk bar and at some point maybe even a crack house; the Drake Hotel in Toronto is now THE place to be for drinks, dining, sleeping and kinky hotel sex.

The Drake Hotel not only offers the greatest in martini hipster fare, but now you can order up some naughty room service too! On the menu: massage oils, sex toys, pleasure enhancing condoms, velvet restraints and how-to sex videos.

And instead of a bible placed just so in the nightstand–complimentary condoms for their guest’s convinience and safety.

What’s not to love about a cool hotel; full of charm, ambience, history and encouraged sex?

I’d loooove some of their kinda’ room service

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It may not be shaped like a nice juicy c#ck, but it is HUGE, pink, pretty and apparently quite a ride! I’m talking about The Cone vibrator.

This baby’s the right shape to either sit on or hold against you and is unisex so anyone can ride the vibe! Brilliant! Finally, it’s got 16 automated vibe programs so it really does all of the work for you so you can just sit back and enjoy.

Watch grandma go to town on The Cone in this hilarious promo video that I found on YouTube.

And though I have yet to try one, I have heard GREAT things about it. Ride one today!

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After so many years of spending summers visiting my grandparents in their tiny village in Portugal, I would never have guessed that what appeared to be the most enchanting little place in the world would have its own little red-light district–sort of.

When you’re in a place with a population of about 30 (that may or may not include the livestock), any chance you get to venture out is exciting, even if only to another village. An even bigger treat was getting to venture out to the ‘big village’ which had its very bank, greasy restaurant and couple of cafes–at least that’s all I thought it had…

Finally old enough to visit the village without grand-parental supervision and in the company of my very own sexy, personal tour guide, I was able to see that Vila Velha (’had way more to offer: a few great restaurants, 2 banks, a theatre and most interesting of all: a sex bar! Yes, that’s right: S-E-X bar! And all those years I thought the most action one could get there was a night of stolen passion with a neighbours sheep!

Aptly named Venus Bar; this place is classic with its tiny, suspiciously nondescript sign, blacked out windows and parking lot that remains empty till after dark. I didn’t get the pleasure of going inside as that would make me a whore (a.k.a.: ‘cabra’ or ‘puta’) by village-standards, but an inside source tells me that the place serves up overpriced drinks, with the specialty being Brazilian Tang — as in Poontang!

While it would be in proper village fashion for a real lady to be offended by this sort of thing; I am instead quite impressed! Not sure what that says about me exactly…

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Well, I am back from my trip and feelin’ all perky and super-fresh again! Sadly, a slow connection kept me from being able to post while away, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have sex and 1TrackMind on my… well… mind!

I made the billion mile journey with my glass dildo as promised, though; thanks to a real live partner I had no real opportunity to use it (NOT that I am complaining!) I did however get plenty of use out of it before the trip and even more since I have been back and I gotta tell you it was worth begging for!

My Blue Pleasure Coil is 7 inches of buttery smooth fun. Never mind how pretty it looks resting inconspicuously on my coffee table—this baby sure does feel amazing! The tip is smooth enough and just the right size for some seriously sexy clit play which is always a plus. And the coils? Daaaaamn! Slipping something into yourself never felt so good! You can feel each delicious coil as you slide the toy inside and if you opt to twist it in as you would a screw; (oops!) it makes its way in beautifully and yummily. (I know that’s not a real word, but it was just so fitting that I couldn’t help myself)

I will always recommend lube as that is what I have been taught, but even if you aren’t a wet and wild ride like myself; glass toys are so smooth and sleek that they tend to slide in quite nicely without too much in the way of lube. Another plus!

To sum it up—I LOVE my glass dildo!!!!!

Thanks again Sex Toys Wonderland for this fantabulous gift!

Stay tuned, as tomorrow I will write about the best little ‘whore bar’ in the village!

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Setting aside the fact that I may have a slightly biased opinion here since I have written for them in the past; I am going to sing the praises of one of my re-discovered favorite sites: TheEroticWoman.Com

Naturally, I would want to tell people about any site that features my any of my work simply because I love an audience for my smut, but it has been a long time since I have sent anything in (I’m a bad, bad girl). I happened to swing by the site the other day and was blown away by how much it’s changed since I was a part of their start up.

If you want a great place for erotica and all things sexy, then this is definitely a must on your list of smut stops! They have: galleries of HOT pics, ‘Nude Horoscope’, erotic stories and poetry, reviews of all sorts, articles, interviews, advice, ‘Hunk of the Month’… and so much more! Did I mention that there are a couple of my stories and poems there as well???

The site is super easy on the eyes, well designed, easy to navigate and just plain sexy.     S-E-X-Y!!

And don’t let the name fool you; this site isn’t just for ladies. There is some stuff on there that would make Ron Jeremy blush!

Finally, The Erotic Woman is also FREE!! That’s right: FREE!!!!!!!!!!

Check it out today!

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Congrats to a gal who’d like to be known as “Scatandra” for winning the sexy SmartBalls with this nasty, but highly amusing email: